Rootless Seeking
God, Lord, Universe,
Creator,
Divine force,
Or whatever you want to be called,
I am here,
Looking up to the sky,
Head up,
Head down,
Or wherever you are.
You are a power greater than me,
And I can only seek you in a building, a book,
Or anything except from within.
At least, that’s what I have been taught.
Somehow, meeting eye to eye with you
Actually means unlearning hundreds of years of tradition,
Based on man and his ego,
But also accepting that you are there,
Even in the places where your name is spoken
With shame and guilt.
It is just their understanding of life
Through their own consciousness.
And if you don’t judge one For where they are in life,
Why should I?
So yes, I am here—
Accepting, surrendering, and unlearning.
And in the deepest of my pain,
I meet eye to eye with you,
Leaving me in a galaxy full of answers.
And yet, I still wonder where you are,
And how my life lacks your presence.
How, unless I am down on my knees,
Crying in despair,
I do not feel you.
Isn’t that also just conditioned within my bones?
Yet I know you are a God of love.
So how do I reach you in the mundane moments—
In the moments where it’s not too much pain or joy,
When it’s comfortable enough to stop seeking,
Comfortable enough to forget
The roots that keep a tree growing.
How much my soul is eager to seek you?
Yet how easily I distract myself
From being with you.
